Divorce After 45 - What You Need To Know
Divorce among people over 45 years old is on the rise. Among U.S. adults ages 50 and older, the divorce rate has roughly doubled since the 1990s. As the increase mounts, so does the terminology used to describe divorce during this stage of life. Phrases including “gray divorce, silver splitters, diamond divorcees, and empty-nester divorce” are all associated with couples who decide to part ways later in life.
Divorce is always a difficult life event, but when it happens to you after age 45, the repercussions can be much more significant. If you find yourself in this situation, it’s important to consider the unique challenges involved in your divorce and prepare yourself for the future by contacting an experienced divorce lawyer.
Top Reasons for Empty Nester Divorce
- Financial issues. It’s no surprise that financial challenges contribute to divorce after 50. Money and financial management or mismanagement is often a factor in divorce, regardless of a couple’s age. What’s unique though is that financial mistakes made during the onset of one’s career or the high-earning years typically aren’t as detrimental as those made later in life. When retirement is on the horizon there tends to be less room for financial errors. Financial challenges later in life have the potential to upend retirement plans and cause serious turmoil to the relationship.
- Infidelity. Cheating is a common reason for divorce, regardless of age. The way infidelity occurs though has evolved over the years. It’s easier to meet new people online, reconnect with past partners via a social network, or carry on relationships through email and text. Medical advancements have made it easier to increase libido, a change you or your spouse might not be up for. One partner might not feel as loved or appreciated and look outside the marriage for these feelings.
- Empty Nest Syndrome. If you’re a parent with children who live at home, you’re likely used to being busy and preoccupied with the family life. As your children grow older and move out, you’ll have more time to spend alone with your spouse. For some couples, this is a welcome reprieve. For others, it can be a stark realization that the love you once shared is gone.
- Retirement. Retirement is a major life transition. For many, a career represents a personal identity. When this phase of life is over, some struggle with anxiety and depression that may last for months or years. Retirement also presents ample time to spend together as a couple, which may or may not be good for your relationship. Some couples may simply have very different retirement plans and choose to divorce.
- Living longer. Humans live longer now than ever before. Great news, unless you’re in an unfulfilling marriage! People grow and change throughout life. Sometimes personal growth results in changes that cause a couple to drift apart. Other times couples want something else out of life that they don’t think their current spouse can provide. Divorce doesn’t have the same stigma it once did, making it a more common option for couples wanting out.
Financial Considerations of Gray Divorce
Divorcing after 45 presents unique challenges that younger couples may not have to deal with and things like qualified domestic relations orders become more important as there is less time to accumulate retirement funds as we get older. Many of these issues center around finance, specifically assets and debts, such as:
- Retirement funds. The existence of retirement funds, such as 401ks or pension plans, can complicate divorces. It’s important to remember that in many cases, you can avoid penalties to withdrawing early from retirement accounts with a qualified domestic relations order (QDRO). A QDRO allows you or your spouse to take or move money from a 401k or a 403b without having to pay the 10% penalty fee typically associated with early withdrawal.
- Health insurance policies. Health insurance is not cheap. If you divorce before 65 when medicare kicks in, you’ll have to figure out what to do about coverage if you’re currently not on your own plan or your employer’s plan.
- Tax implications. Nearly every financial decision you make in your divorce comes with tax implications. From alimony or spousal support, to the tax burden associated with investment accounts and everything in between, working closely with your Rhode Island divorce lawyer and a trusted financial planner is a must.
- The family home. In most cases, the home you lived in is an asset to be valued and split. If you do keep the house, remember all the things that go into it including property taxes, maintenance, utilities, and more.
Managing Divorce After 45
Even though divorce is a difficult process, it’s often much easier than living with a spouse you no longer love. Still, you’ll want to take steps to ensure you move past the hurt and sadness and develop a plan for coping with the challenging times. This might mean scheduling an appointment with a therapist, joining a support group, or spending time with friends and family.
Talking about your challenges is a helpful way to process your emotions, so long as it’s done in a responsible manner. Resist the urge to bash your soon-to-be-ex in public or on social media. During your divorce proceedings, be very careful about what you say and do. Keep your discussions limited to a trusted friend or a therapist.
As with every major life change, getting used to divorce will take awhile. Allow yourself time to heal, learn, and grow from this process. Don’t rush it or try to force yourself into a new relationship before you’re reading. Focus on building a solid foundation for your new life. Instead of divorce as the end of a chapter, consider it as a new beginning. You now have an opportunity to spend more time understanding what makes you truly happy and pursuing the activities you enjoy.
Carl P. DeLuca, Attorney at Law, has helped many Rhode Island residents over the age of 45 navigate the divorce process while minimizing the financial burden. As one of the best Rhode Island divorce lawyers, he can help you too.
Contact Carl P. DeLuca, Attorney at Law, today to get started.
